1st Day of Thanksgiving: Lessons Revisited

In my quest for a renewed season of thanksgiving, I was looking again at an old journal (the actual pen to paper kind), and an entry from Thanksgiving Day, November 24, 2002.  For me, life, and intimate spiritual life in particular, seems to move in cycles where I experience and learn, re-experience and re-learn similar lessons.  Sometimes I have forgotten or been distracted from a truth and need a refresher course.  Sometimes God brings me full circle on an issue so that I can gain a deeper understanding that builds on past lessons.  I’m not sure which one this is, but I was contemplating the season then, too.  

I was going through a time of doubt and confusion, and maybe even a little fear of God.  I don’t mean the reverent, awe-inspiring kind of fear.  This was the scared, white-knuckle grip, hiding kind of fear of what He might expect of me.  I found myself actually afraid to draw near to God because I was afraid that he would take something precious from me.  I was persevering through struggles where answers and purpose were hard to find.  I had grown to doubt His character made so evident in the Bible.

This is starting to sound familiar!

In my journal, I was meditating on a few psalms and the idea of thanksgiving as a gateway.  Actually, just two phrases:

“…Come before His presence with thanksgiving.” (psalm 95:2)
“Enter His gates with thanksgiving…” (psalm 100:4)

My musings included a prayer in four parts that offers a refresher course for this season.  It’s still a worthy meditation, and a good starting point for my 12 Days of Thanksgiving experience.  Here’s what I wrote:

“Perhaps, this is the first step in getting rid of the doubt and fear that has taken over my relationship with God.

1.  I repent of a complaining and murmuring spirit, and ask God’s forgiveness for taking His character and blessings for granted.

2.  I ask Him to open my eyes to His goodness that is evident in my life, His faithfulness, His love and mercy.

3.  I choose the thank Him for what He shows me.  I thank Him for His works.  I thank Him for His character.

4.  I ask that this Thanksgiving season be a new turning point in my relationship with God.  Let me enter Your courts this season.”

Amen.