letters to my daughter . 090816

I used to say this to my kids all the time. Back when they were younger and just growing their vocabularies. When they were filled with thoughts, and maybe frustrations, they could not fully express. They had to learn how to articulate their feelings. Like we all do. They had to learn how to speak their minds in ways that could be heard and understood. Like we all do. Today, we still have times when this reminder is important. There are still times when being tired, or over-scheduled, or frustrated makes this reminder come up again. Let’s use our words. I know you’re frustrated. I know you’re tired. I know you’re trying to make me see something. Let’s take the time to use our words. Helpful words. Slow words. Patient words. More words than we think we need. To be sure others can follow along. And, when we are hurt or confused or afraid, let’s find out why. Together. When we think someone’s angry, let’s be brave. And use our words. When we don’t understand. Or misunderstand. Let’s use our words.

We don’t have to go far into the media landscape to see the reckless and callous use of words. We don’t have to go far into our own seas of distractions to find a shocking lack of words where meaningful and honest ones might be life-changing. We live in a culture where daring to bring up the awkward subject or address the emotional elephant in the room is quickly deemed “drama.” Or “TMI.” Or “oversharing.” We live in a culture where it’s easier to turn away and just “block” or “unfollow” or “delete” rather than bear the demands of honest differences. I trying to learn to allow my words to reflect my true values, even if they are uncomfortable. And to create a space in our home where we use our words to make peace.