12 Days of Thanksgiving

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean. But much gain comes from the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4

Some days you can’t see the ox for the straw covering the barn. Today I missed Thanksgiving lunch with my kindergartener and first grader. I had it in my calendar for this morning. I had already purchased my ticket. I’d scheduled meetings around it. I was ready to go.

Only this morning I woke up very early before the sun was up. I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was listing in my mind the things I needed to do before our Thanksgiving holiday begins on Friday evening. Birthday presents for Bug, Book Fair purchases for Little Drummer Boy, several emails scheduled to send for a client, a website concept design, packing clothes, finding books for school, a Reading Fair project, meetings, that letter I wanted to write. So many things to do. In my early morning thinking, I made a plan for how to mark some things off the list this morning.

It was a great plan taking advantage of the dead zone that Walmart becomes at the beginning of the work day. It included an unexpected peek at Little Drummer Boy while picking up his book requests. I was able to get some emails schedules and web pages set up. But, around 1:30 I glanced carefully at my calendar and saw the two blocks marked for Thanksgiving lunch. At 9:50 and 10:40 this morning.

Fail. And there is no fail to the spirit like a mommy fail on Thanksgiving, no less.

So, the afternoon has included a few tears for me. And a much needed shift in perspective. So many times I think I get so caught up in being the best mommy, in doing the best work, that I stress myself out of experiencing the true joy of mothering or creating. I get so caught up in doing that I lose sight of being, of experiencing, of giving attention to the basics. And I forfeit the full value those core treasures bring. I forget that the errands and projects and creating ideas or special days all serve to SERVE my treasures. They aren’t the treasure. So, I can accept the untidiness of a schedule perpetually half-fulfilled. As long as I can focus on the strength those treasures bring to every single day. And, when the duties and activities cease to contribute to that strength, I can give myself permission to let them go.

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean. Thank God he’s given me such a mess.

12 Days of Thanksgiving

Today marks the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. This short speech delivered in 1863 at the dedication of a cemetery is one of the most remembered orations in American history. I imagine every person reading this can quote at least a portion of the speech. The words have endured as a profoundly succinct and moving account of our country’s ideals. But, the words were also delivered as a comfort.

The wounds were fresh. Thousands gathered at the dedication to honor their sons and fathers and husbands who were buried just a few months earlier. Over 50,000 men died in the Battle of Gettysburg in July 1863. The battle was one of the largest and bloodiest of the Civil War. The community of Gettysburg was, no doubt, in devastation even four months later.

Facing the forever-changed outlook of that community, the President stood and asked the people to live. To live out the core of what they believed, of what was right. Beyond their devastation and the impact of such loss.

It’s interesting to me that some six weeks earlier, Abraham Lincoln had given another speech. It is less recognized, but we celebrate its impact every year — on Thanksgiving Day. On October 3, 1863 Lincoln delivered the first national proclamation of Thanksgiving, establishing the national holiday…

“The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God…

~ Abraham Lincoln, October 3, 1863

Somewhere centered between some of the bloodiest and conflicting times in our history and the need to commemorate the loss resulting from those conflicts, Lincoln was compelled to proclaim a day of thanksgiving. In the midst of sorrow and struggle and conflict, whether inward or outward, Lincoln seemed to see the value of shifting our gaze upward. The value of offering thanks. The value of doing it together. The value of laying bare a grateful heart, taking inventory of the bounty that remains. When we need it most.

As my children and I continue to walk through the stages of our own grief, I’m continually reminded of what a comfort thanksgiving can be. On days when loss or sorrow or hopelessness seem to take hold, the impact of recognizing just one blessing can be so powerful. But, gratitude has just as much of an impact on the normal days that are becoming more and more consistent for us. On days when I look at my children flourishing and vibrant with life, thanksgiving helps me hold those moments closer and extend the hope and joy to the next moment. Thanksgiving helps us string the moments together. Thanksgiving helps me know we are moving on. It helps me acknowledge that we are alive. And growing. And we can say with confidence that we a blessed. We have lost. But, we are blessed. There is no greater shift in perspective than that.