My heart on a sick day… when Baby Girl still wants me to take care of her. And I realize how much I love these days in spite of the medicines. It’s in these days I’m so thankful. I’m acutely aware of how blessed we are. And I remember that everything I do, all my design and work endeavors, every opportunity… it’s all weighed against this. And my ability to be right here. Where she needs me.

They are precious words… “Mommy, can I sit in your lap?” Baby Girl still wants those treasured moments in my lap, and is willing to ask for them when I don’t notice. And, every time she does, I secretly say to myself, “I hope you always like to sit in my lap.” But, I know she won’t. My boys have outgrown those words — and my lap, I guess —  and although I still get a “Mommy, can I sit by you,” from them, it’s not quite the same.  They grow and change so fast, and I’m mindful more each day of how fleeting each little stage is. I kick myself every time I realize I’ve said “just a minute,” or “not right now,” to one of those questions. It reminds me again to focus on what matters. And to honor every request for these all too fleeting moments.

It always makes me pause when I hear my words coming back at me from one of my children. I pause because it’s a sharp reminder that little ears are always open, and the words we speak take root. Whether we want them to or not sometimes. But, it’s a magical thing sometimes to see a little soul embrace some positive affirmation she’s heard, internalize it and make it part of how she sees herself. It births confidence and safety in being who she is. I must have actually verbalized this to Baby Girl. I don’t really remember it, but I’ve heard it back from her. In moments when she’s telling me her plans about some activity or project or shenanigan, she tells me. When I question from all my years of experience and the ready words of caution, she says it. “Mommy. I have good ideas!” It reminds me that she does, indeed, have good ideas. And to push aside the tendency to be a naysayer or a doubter or a squelcher of excitement. It reminds me to have confidence in that young spirit who’s learned to have confidence in herself. Wow. Kids teach you the darnedest things!