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Hello World

· September 12, 2011

It’s been a while. I wish I could say that my absence from the EJ world was intentional. I did actually take a planned sabbatical from the Plop! blog, but not so with EyeJunkie. Unfortunately. It was entirely accidental. Or sidestepping. Or maybe even robbery.

Rather than a more noble intentional break for deeper focus and refinement, I’m sad to say that the source of my posting fast falls more along the lines of relinquishment. It’s true. It’s a result of my own lack of attention, my own pushing aside of something I enjoy, my own crowding out. That’s why I’m tempted to call it robbery, and I’m the primary suspect.

You see, I really enjoy writing and journalling and all the chronicling of life through words that comes with it. So, why hasn’t it been part of my days for virtually all of this summer? It would be easy (and perhaps simple) to blame it on busy-ness, work stress, or even too much authentic life. But, that’s not it. That’s not genuine. The fact is I’ve relinquished it. I’ve let other priorities supersede my own, exchanging something that matters to me for the ever urgent and perpetually earth-shattering wants of others. I’ve robbed my own time and priorities and enjoyment and paid them in service to something other than mine.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m one of those folks who happens to think putting others first is a worthy endeavor. I happen to enjoy the “urgent” calling of “Mommy” and such. The “urgent” newspaper ad or umpteenth email or 37th corner dust bunny, not so much. When I see the cost of giving up something I’ve always enjoyed, something that helps me boost control and creativity in other areas, something that makes me better at the things I’m desperate to do better, THOSE urgencies just aren’t worth it.

I’ve been learning lessons. Again. It’s up to me and no one else to order my life in a way that matches with what brings me daily fulfillment and joy. I can leave it in the hands of “urgent” needs, but I inevitably come up short on the joy end. And the daily is worth striking a hard line with joy. I don’t want to wait for joy. I’m spoiled that way. I want it now. For, a life of joy is made up of small joyous moments too fleeting to relinquish.

So, I’m writing again.

Setting the tone for MY life is my responsibility and my privilege. No one can take it from me without my permission. And today’s answer is “no.”

Categories : beautiful ordinary

The Courage to Make Change

Posted by haley montgomery

· July 13, 2011

“I want to make changes. Not let change happen around me.”

I read that comment this week, and it rocked me. I write a lot about change, it seems. I guess it comes from being in an intense season of change over the last year. That whirlwind can sometimes blur your vision where change (and everything else) is concerned. So the comment rocked me. It stopped me and made me re-examine the subject.

It’s one thing to accept change. Even to want it. It’s quite another to make it.

So often we look at change as this ethereal force happening all around us that we are left to compensate for, overlook, grab hold and ride, or be blown away by. Take your pick of one of those positions; the navigation is the same. It’s out of our control. Some unknown and seemingly rampant tide is in charge, pulling us along for the ride. And we are relegated to letting it happen.

I haven’t written about courage (my 2010-11 theme word) in several months, but I think the decision to”make change” certainly requires it. To reject the mentality that change is out of our hands and firmly take the reins of responsibility ourselves takes courage. (Why does a rodeo bull-riding metaphor come to mind?)

It takes courage.

The courage to imagine something new and different — to see it.
The courage to see it as possible.
The courage to see ourselves as worthy of this new possibility.
The courage to recognize our own value.
And our own values.
The courage to ask questions.
To take stands.
To dare to be bold. Even brazen in our pursuit of that possibility we see.
And the courage to move and step and act and speak.

Just as “making change” in the mundane sense is exchanging currency like dollars for coins, to make change in broader strokes requires a more prominent exchange. We exchange this direction for that one — the one that more closely aligns with the destination (and journey) our souls require. We exchange someone else’s priorities for our own — the ones we own in that secret place that comes alive in our hearts when we know we are where we need to be. We exchange the superfluous for the necessary — that list of essentials representing the lowest common denominator for our unique life of joy. We exchange the ever-abstract big picture for exquisite details — those nitty-gritty, real-world specifics that characterize the life we MUST have each and every day.

Those exchanges can never happen by chance in the billowing tide of an ethereal “wind of change.” No, those exchanges only happen with intention, with choosing, with moving and acting. With making change.

And that takes courage.

Categories : essays

Summer Daze

Posted by haley montgomery

· June 16, 2011

It’s Summer time, and I don’t have anything profound to say about that fact. Nope. Summer just seems to defy profundity and position itself squarely in the camp of carefree. And, I guess that IS a little profound. Sometimes in the thick of real life, carefree is very elusive.

Who can’t smile at gumballs? Aren’t they the the epitome of instant sweet-filled and quickly-fleeting summertime carefree moments? I took the photo in this month’s desktop wallpaper image one Sunday afternoon earlier this month. That day, I did just what I imagine I did as a child on a summer weekend afternoon. I gazed at the scrumptious offerings inside a window, but was too drawn by the possibilities of the moment to stop and go inside. Summer daze gone by — when the endless opportunities of free time were almost overwhelming. And the absence of time constraints almost made me dizzy with possibilities.

I love that feeling. And, even though my constraints are a little more rigid in this grown-up June and July, I hope I can still capture a touch of that daze. Just a touch of that carefree heart peeking in the window, but too busy with loving life to bother with dropping in the coin. Enjoy my personal glimpse of summer, and feel free to download to use in your own devices. *wink*

Categories : beautiful ordinary, free art + printables

Day of Rest

Posted by haley montgomery

· June 12, 2011

I’ve been thinking about rest again. It seems to happen on the weekends naturally. This being Sunday, the “day of rest,” I’ve been thinking about it again in the context of the Sabbath. The Bible says that God instituted the concept of the Sabbath on the seventh day of his creation of the world.

“On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.” (genesis 2:1-2)

Thus, the idea of a holy day of rest was born. In the account, God had surveyed the words of his mouth and the work of his hands at a stopping point the day before. He determined that it was all very good and he “rested.” Just what was this resting about, that the God of the universe chose to do it?

Was God tired? Did he need sleep after the exhaustion of his labors? That doesn’t really fit with the concept of God revealed throughout the Bible, and yet I see that pervading some of the ideas surrounding what men do with the Sabbath.

After the success of his creative endeavors, did God suddenly feel the desire to be worshipped? Did the demand for a designated day of worship somehow reveal itself on the seventh day? That doesn’t seem to fit either. No, God was no more worthy of worship on day seven in his pause of creation than he was on day six or day five. He made no command for any of his creation to join him that day in his “rest”, nor did he demand any act of worship for himself out of the day’s holiness. Although, that seems to be the popular sentiment as well. That admonition came later, and I’ll admit that I’ve always viewed it a part of the idea of Sabbath. But, it really wasn’t indoctrinated that way in this dawning of a day seven.

A year or so ago, I came across the definition of the Hebrew word for Sabbath — “shabbat”. To cease. I’ve written about it several times in this EyeJunkie space. Yet, as evidenced by this post, I keep coming back to it. I keep coming back to trying to understand it, or trying to implement it’s obvious importance into my life. Why an obvious importance? Well, God himself observed it, after all. Between the thoughts of worship services and just catching up on sleep, what does it mean to rest, to set apart a “day” of rest? What did it mean, that God would choose it?

It’s interesting to me that this was perhaps the first act in a process of worship that began as a declaration of a holy moment–a designation–and progressed into a command to remember it and continue it. To keep stopping. To keep setting it apart.

To cease. It makes perfect sense, but so often I overlook it. I breeze right through it in an attempt to get on with the business of doing something. The ceasing part so often eludes me in the process of doing and creating and living. Yet, God chose to stop, to cease. He surveyed what he had done. He evaluated it. He recognized it’s significance. And he claimed it’s success. He named it “very good.”

That’s a powerful concept. I’ve been reminded recently how important it is in roads of change to recognize milestones. To take stock and acknowledge the small (and big) successes along the way. It makes long journeys shorter. It gives difficult moments an easier comparison. And yes, it brings rest to weariness. It brings the chaos of moving forward to a welcomed cease.

I’ve had a crazy idea since I began this adventure in paying attention of creating a 12-step program for EyeJunkies — yep, one of those hare-brained notions I may or may not get around to. But, should the idea materialize, surely “to cease” is the first step. I certainly can’t pay attention to anything until I choose to stop — least of all my own progress. The choice to cease enables so many other choices. It enables that intention I crave so often. It defies the notion of busy-ness. And yet it sometimes defines the idea of accomplishment. And the emotional, mental and spiritual “rest” initiated from simply stopping and looking and calling it good is hard to come by any other way.

Categories : beautiful ordinary, on faith

Topsy-turvy Week. And the Rest.

Posted by haley montgomery

· June 6, 2011

I feel rested today. I know it’s not earth-shattering. But there it is. I’m not sure of the statistics on how often I can say that, but I have a feeling they wouldn’t be in my favor in recent months. I stayed up until almost 1am last night and even then, deep sleep eluded me. Granted, I took a nap yesterday afternoon, but the day was also fairly busy with activities alongside my kids and with being out in the heat. This peculiar and unexpected sensation has me thinking a little more carefully about the nature of rest.

I’m beginning to realize that rest is more of a state of mind than a scheduling thing. Can I be rested even with little sleep — rested in spirit at least? As I pay attention to myself, I’m noticing respite comes from mindset more than anything else.

Last week was an emotional one. It included some extra time with my children outside of our normal routine. It was no well-planned vacation, just some days at my parents’ home enjoying focused time with them and three four-foot kiddie pools. These makings of big fun, were made possible, in part, by my decision to say “yes” to them as often as humanly possible.

Last week I was also tip-toeing on the edge of a little stress produced by saying “yes” to the kids and “no” to work so often at a time when my project schedule is, thankfully, busy. But, even that toe dance was paired with the grateful realization that owning my own business has given me the freedom to take that time away with the children — to choose to focus on them for a few days. Just because.

The week also included sorrow at the passing of my grandmother. It was bittersweet in seeing her life celebrated, and recognizing that her battle with Alzheimer’s meant much of the grieving of her loss had already occurred in these last years.

The emotional ride culminated on Friday with having to make the decision to have my sweet beagle, Jingle Belle, put down because of health issues — a sorrow at losing her and at having to make the hard financial and humane choices so often accompanying a 9-year-old pet.

And then there’s tee ball — in 96 degree Mississippi heat. Little Drummer Boy’s last game was on Friday night. I was so proud of him. And tired of the pace of scheduled games, and looking forward to Bug’s turn, and appreciative of LDB’s first little trophy, and sweating, and impatient. A tell-tale end to a topsy-turvy week. But, when I think about it, the week wasn’t really all that unusual. It was a week filled with real life. Just life and all it’s ups and downs, joys and sorrows — the stuff that wrings us out. Daily.

So, at first glance, my feeling rested today is inexplicable. Except for this…

On Friday evening I told myself and everyone in the house who would listen, “I need some down time to regroup. And that’s what I’m doing this weekend.”

And I did. In all those ways that help my own spirit feel a little more in control. The unique ways that replenish my own soul or help me really see the enchantment of life around me (or at least help me see the countertops around me.) I played with the kids. I sorted through things in my closet. I cleaned my sink. I took my time getting groceries. I slept late. I took a nap. I read extra bedtime stories. I laughed at being splashed. I told myself that it’s ok to do what I need for me. Because three little hearts are counting on that me.

Yep, that last part was the hardest. And the most important. And the thing that made the difference. You see, I want those three gifts to have the best me possible, not the haggard, impatient and bothered me. I want them to have the me at rest.

Sometimes being rested is a mindset. Sometimes it is about more than getting sleep. Sometimes it’s about giving myself permission to stop. Permission to be my own boss. To be governed by what I know my heart needs.

Categories : beautiful ordinary

Hello & welcome! I’m Haley Montgomery, and I’m the designer and owner of Small Pond Graphics. I sometimes fancy myself a frog kisser— a documentarian coaxing poignant moments from unexpected places. This blog has evolved from those moments.

The small Pond FIELD GUIDE is part diary, part sketchbook, and part wish list – an archive of ordinary wonders. For years, this space has housed my stories – creative ideas, vintage inspiration, our forays into curious places, and the simple artifacts of quiet of conscious living. Through watercolor, photography, and illustrated tales, these pages uncover the blessing of ordinary days and the wonder found in authentic places and pursuits.

I invite you to open the boxes.
Peek into the drawers.
Rustle through the pages.
I’m honored to have you here.