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Archive for family

Mama

Several weeks ago as I began to sense that my Mom’s time here was coming nearer to an end, I started to think about how I would describe her after she died. In moments between pushing the thoughts aside and embracing the inevitability of the situation, I began to try and settle my heart on the things that were important about her life.
 
In the last several years of Mama’s life, she became more isolated as she cared for Dad, and then began to lose the ability to get out and interact with people as she once did. So as I thought about honoring her memory, I knew that perhaps the most meaningful accounting of her life would come from me. I didn’t know if I could find the words, and I didn’t know if I could share them with the appropriate clarity and composure. But, here I am. And here you are. And she is not here.
 
She is in a more vibrant place than I have ever known, beyond the constraints of this world. And I come to this moment with the stories of what she has meant to us. Stories of love and faithfulness and saying goodbye.
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farm tales . “I can’t wait for that to happen”

“I can’t wait for that to happen. It’s going to be so fun.”

Baby Girl has always been an old soul. Deeper than oceans, that one. We were sitting on the farmhouse back deck in rocking chairs eating lunch, and she was talking about picnic tables. Where we might put one in the pasture behind the house. And how we could build bunk beds in the middle bedroom. For when she and Travis and Elisha bring their children out here. “We can ‘kid-ify’ everything again like you did for us. And they’ll grow up together, all the cousins.”

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A Seeker’s Moment: 5 Lessons from Covid-19

Watercolor - Seek and you shall find

“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.” ~ Norman Mailer

I’ve been thinking about growth this week, and irony. Over the last few months in our neck of the woods, we’ve seen the whole of nature shake off the dust of a dormant winter season and sprout into new growth, spring blossoms and early summer fruit. Yet, in one of life’s inevitable ironies, it seems like much of life has been at a standstill as we enter week 15 of quarantine, shelter in place and the socially distant realities of the Coronavirus pandemic. With schools closed, travel plans cancelled, favorite activities interrupted, and time with family limited, an uncertainty-fueled fatigue threatens to lull us into merely sitting. And waiting.

In truth, God’s great earth teaches that there is no real time of stagnance. No mere status quo, no simple biding of time, no true standstill. There is only growing. And dying. Even dormant days can provide rest and regeneration that contribute to the next growing season, or they degenerate into spoil and decay. As Norman Mailer wrote, “Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.”

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keep . The Blessing of Beginning Again

To begin again is such a blessing – an opportunity to revel in what may be hovering ahead on the horizon. But, it’s a blessing that sometimes gets a bad rap. I’ve had a few “starting over” seasons in my life, and I’ve noticed they tend to be heavily burdened with the failure or loss of whatever season came before. We steady our hands for a newness thrust upon us, like we’ve scribbled some errant message and, with a heavy sigh, had to tear out the page, wad it up and toss it behind us.
 
It’s different with a new year. Maybe it’s the predictability that makes the difference, but we seem to turn the page to January with much more acceptance. With more grace — for ourselves, for where we’ve been and where we’re going. We give ourselves permission to embrace something new. And, we celebrate the beginning, relishing the opportunity to retool and tweak life goals and daily decisions alike. The start of the new year offers an anticipated blessing of beginning again — the chance to bring forward what serves us and leave behind what may be holding us back. No strings attached.
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keep . Summer Jar Season

Summer has arrived in the Pond! Today marks the last day of school for my kiddos, and we are all very ready for more relaxed schedules. The official equinox won’t come for another month, but amid the craziness of end-of-year celebrations and project lists, we’ve managed to pull out the Summer Jar, our annual tradition for capturing summer’s ordinary (and not-so-ordinary) wonders. It’s our fifth year to use this little ritual to help us keep summer, and along the way, we’ve tweaked the idea, allowing it to grow and change as we have. Now, we can’t imagine summer without it!

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